You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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