"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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