i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
