Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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