shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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