you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
