im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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