I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
