ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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