What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
