its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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