Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
