Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
