she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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