the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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