I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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