I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
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