Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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