every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
