Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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