definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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