they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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