idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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