Nicole vs. Life
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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