He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
