those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize