We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
