Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Randomize
