I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
