I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize
