i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
