How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
