is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
