my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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