She said her name was "party"
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
