Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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