that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
