Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
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