For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
