who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
