is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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