Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
You're earring is so big in my mouth
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
