Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize