dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
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