just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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