Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
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