im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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