The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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