Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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