So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I am one with the molecules
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
