My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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