what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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