the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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