And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
