once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
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