I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
