You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize