Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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